Wednesday, June 5, 2013
I seemed to be having some good success back in November/December.. and even into February I was doing well..and then suddenly everything sort of slowed down.
Then when I figured out that LDStorymakers wasn't going to happen.. everything sort of died. The little spark that was glowing sort of went out.
My WIP suddenly seemed lost.. discombobulated, completely out of sync. My thoughts stopped getting me excited. In fact my writing thoughts sort of stopped altogether. Not that I didn't have some thoughts, but they were mostly negative, guilt ridden thoughts. It wasn't, "I should do this, or this.." they were more, "Why am I even wasting my time?"
*sigh*.. The really frustrating part is, I know what my stumbling blocks are, I know how to overcome them.. I know what I should be doing. I know that doubt creeps into everybody's minds, I know that I haven't worked hard enough to have earned type of success that I want. I know that allowing myself to become distracted isn't just something that happens.. it's a choice that I consciously and knowingly make. I know that I need to just sit down and pound out a minimum amount of words a day.. even if I don't feel like it, even if there are no words in my heart to speak.. even if the desire to write isn't there. I know that repetition breeds habit, and that success isn't something that just magically happens one day.. in fact I know all too well that there is no such thing as 'success happening'.. that there is no destination, but rather only a journey.. and that success isn't something that occurs but that it is something that joins you mid-journey.
I know these things. I believe these things. I honestly do.. and yet.. still I struggle to maintain my direction. My focus wanders. Sometimes I wonder if I have a focus at all. I have goals.. but they seem to get swallowed up by daily distractions.
Yogi Berra, that fountain of quotations, once said that, "If you don't know where you are going you'll end up someplace else." (think about that for a moment)
Another, more traditional quote, from William Jennings Bryan, "Destiny is not a matter of chance.. it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."
I guess my insecurities creep into my small decisions, which in turn has a domino effect from there. It start small, with just those nagging doubts and fears.. and then morphs into the sort of problems that plague me today.
I need to make better decisions on a daily basis.. I need to stop looking at the end goal and start focusing on the small things.. start at the bottom and begin correcting my mistakes from there.. and the rest will follow.
The problem is, how do you keep your eyes off the big goal?
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Inferno by Dan Brown
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Oh Dan Brown.. you can't keep using the same recipe and good ole' cookie cutter and expect to bake new cookies. Sure, the cookies taste pretty much as good as the other cookies you've shared with the world in the past.. but at some point the 'wow' factor just turns into.. oh look, Dan brought more snicker-doodles to the party.
This book tries SO HARD to be something more.. but the problem is, it's impossible to take the exact same recipe and ingredients and combine them into something new. Milk, Flour, sugar, butter isn't going to suddenly morph into Duck a l'orange.. no matter how much effort you put into baking it.
Once again, Dan Brown goes above and beyond in setting, giving us details that are beyond any tour guide's dreams.. but no matter how pretty the wrapping, at the end it's still just snicker-doodles in a pretty box with an intricately described bow.
Yes I bought the book.. hoping to be whisked back to 'Angles and Demons' type enjoyment, but I found myself instead reading with a growing dread as I knew exactly what was coming.. and I wasn't disappointed.. or more correctly, I actually was.
Robert Langdon has to be the worlds luckiest guy.. not only is he a hunky 50 something Harvard professor, but he has the uncanny luck to always share life-or-death adventures with amazingly brilliant and beautiful women who all fall madly in like with his intelligence and earnest do-goodedness. He has transformed from an anti-hero I admired to the grown up version of that one kid in school who was the teachers pet and narked on everybody who tried to do even the tiniest little bit of mischief.
For all the 'international best seller' hype.. this is probably the last Dan Brown book I'll buy.. next book I'll just use a name generator, scratch out the printed names and insert the new names.. and reread the old story and.. voilà.. I get the 'new' story without spending $16.00 to be disappointed.
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