Those who know the cartoon are familiar with the dog character, Brian. He's treated pretty much as a regular person, despite being a dog. He's educated and has even published a book, although it never sold much.. and he's eternally working on a manuscript for something new that he never seems to finish. I find a lot of relatable humor in that.
I seem to always start new projects, I have many, what I consider to be, good ideas for stories, but then after about 10-20k words, the joy just fizzles out and I start revising what I've written. I know I shouldn't, but that little seed of doubt just burrows into my brain and I start to question why I had this character say that, or why this character feels that way.. it doesn't take long before I hate it. I just hate it and I lose all desire to keep writing.
I've done this every time I've tried to write. Sure, I've finished short stories, but nothing longer than around 35k words.
But what grinds my gears is.. some people push on past that. I know the doubt I feel isn't new, I've seen published authors that I admire admit that they go through stages of doubt, fear, and even loathing new stories as they go through the writing process, and yet the persevere.
I know i"m not the only one who struggles, but sometimes I look at these other people who I've followed and known in the writing community for years, and it feels like like they're just doing this all day long...
And I'm sitting here like..
I dont' really know if it's fear of failure, or if it's just that I'm lazy, or undisciplined, or an amalgamation of all 3, plus more character flaws I'm sure.. but I have GOT to punch through this.
Now is the time, I'll likely never again have circumstances that are this conducive to writing. I've got a window of time to either fish or cut bait.