Thursday, April 26, 2012

W is for... the title of WRITER

It's sort of easy to see from the trappings within my blog that I aspire to be a writer.

I want to write.. I want to be published, I'd like to see my books on a shelf, to see people take one down, read a little, and tuck it under their arm and stroll to the register.

It's not for money.. lord knows the % of writers who make any actual money at the craft is less than the % of people who successfully rob a bank and are never caught.  (True story)

I just want to see me take what is in my head and put it on a page and have it connect with another person.  I'd love to see that.

Only one problem.. I'm a fake.

A Fraud.
A Phony.
An Impostor.
A Charlatan.
A Deceiver.
A Pretender...




... a hypocrite.

I am incapable of writing.


I see this:  ------>

.. and I freeze. Text never appears on the page. I stare at it, I think about it, I obsess over it, I breathe it in and out, but it never appears..  because I do not put it there.

I've started dozens of times. Every night I seem to start anew, and ever night the page remains the same.

I have ideas, many ideas. I've been to writing conferences, I've read a dozen of books on the subject, I took writing courses in College, was even a writing center tutor..

.. but I have no text on my page.

I want to be a writer, but I am not yet a writer.

I have no title.
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The preceding was a writing exercise.. I am attempting to write angst without going overboard as appears in so many YA books.. this is a first draft, not a polished attempt, so the voice is not right just yet.. I just didn't want people to think I'd started cutting myself.  ;)


Please feel free to let me know what you think.. and if it's over the top or cartoonish.  The topic is one of my own fears.. not an exerpt from any story I'm writing.. I merely tried to harness my inner angst. 


5 comments:

  1. Oh phew! I'm glad I read the small print ;) No cutting, please!

    I loved it. Way to tap into your inner angst. It was real to me. I felt it. :D

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  2. Stopping in from the A to Z Challenge to say hello! Good luck with the next draft!

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  3. No, I don't think it's over the top. I just wanted to hug you!

    Jo
    In Which We Start Anew

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  4. Love this inner angst. Very funny. Haha. Don't sit down to type with nothing in mind. Instead write down your ideas as they come to you, then type up your notes afterwards. Blog on!

    http://francene-wordstitcher.blogspot.com/

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  5. Ha ha! Love the little thing at the end. Until I got to the end, though, I was totally feeling it. It wasn't too much IMHO

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